bothersome.

i just have to get this out of my head!!!:-(

this something that makes me feel ikee inside.
this something that i think is inappropriate.
this something that is not right.
this something that makes me wonder.
this something that makes me worry.
this something that brings back the past. the past that i would love to forget.:-(
this something that irritates me.
this something that makes me watch. that makes me feel AWKWARD.:-(

i would not call this the thing i would not want to say 'til i know it is really it. it's really bothering me. and i mean really really bothering me. it's the feeling i felt years ago that made me want not to feel it again 'til i'm sure i'm ready to feel and face it like a man. it's completely complicated. (sigh).:-(

i feel that i don't have the right to be frustrated. but i am.

i really hope it's not the thing i think it is. i hope i can get this out of my head!

bye!:-(